Hidden feelingsPosted: October 2, 2012
Thoughts are shadows of our feelings — always darker, emptier, and simpler.
~ Friedrich Nietzsche
When I went out for my walk this morning it was foggy, misty, drizzly, gray. The almost still air was scented with dampness and decay. This is the first autumn day that really feels like autumn except for the warmth (it was near 70 degrees). The gray day made the changing colors of the leaves really stand out.
I pondered today’s NaBloPoMo prompt while I was out for my walk. The question for today is:
Are you good at hiding your feelings or is your face an open book?
I didn’t need to ponder it for very long because the answer is very simple. I am physically incapable of hiding my feelings.
Like the trees in the last image, I blush. I am one of those fair skinned, reddish toned people who blush at the drop of a hat. I blush when I’m embarrassed or feel stupid. I blush when I’m complimented. I blush when I’m the center of attention for some reason. (Heaven help me if I have to talk in front of more than two or three people!) I blush at things most adults no longer find blush-worthy. I blush if I try to lie. And I turn red when I’m angry or have been crying.
If my facial features and body language don’t give me away, the color of my face will. I can always feel the blush coming. It’s a heat that rises from the chest into the face. Pretty similar to a hot flash, now that I think about it, although hot flashes seem to originate in the abdomen (a true “fire in the belly”).
I think the only thing I’m capable of hiding is resentment, but even that comes out in some form, usually rebounding back on me through illness (a stomach ache, a headache, etc.). Thankfully, I’m learning to let go of resentment and grudges. They’re bad for the spirit and for the body.
Feelings are everywhere — be gentle.
I suppose it’s a good thing that I really can’t hide my feelings. It keeps me honest for the most part. The exception to that is when I’m not being honest with myself, which happens from time to time. I don’t intentionally lie to myself. Most often it’s a result of denial.
I am not always good at expressing my feelings in a verbal way. Writing is easier than speaking because it gives me time to search for words, but it’s still difficult. I wonder if it is related to the way my body expresses feelings for me. No need, really, for words when I’m laughing, smiling, sobbing, frowning, blushing, or so angry that smoke seems to be coming out of my ears.
Eyes that do not cry, do not see.
~ Swedish Proverb
Sometimes my feelings are so hot that I have to take the pen and put them on paper to keep them from setting me afire inside; then all that ink and labor are wasted because I can’t print the results.
~ Mark Twain
That’s it from the Bogs and from me for today. Thank you for visiting. How about you? Are you good at hiding your feelings? Or does your face tell all?
Wishing you a delightful day, evening, or night… wherever and whenever you are on the spectrum of time.
The most important things are the hardest things to say. They are the things you get ashamed of because words diminish your feelings — words shrink things that seem timeless when they are in your head to no more than living size when they are brought out.
~ Stephen King