Sunday signage: I am not always at my bestPosted: September 23, 2012
Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.
~ Oscar Wilde
A while back I wrote a post titled Three Things. It was a simple post, a reaction to harsh words. I thought, at the time, the post was more of an action than a reaction but it’s been a month or so and I can see it was still on the reactive side of the equation.
The words in an email I reacted to contained some harsh truths. They were not my truths, but I was not confident enough in myself (or my Self) to realize they were not my truths and so, I was hurt. Hurt, for me, often comes out as anger. Then tears. Lots of tears. Then an undermining of what I thought was becoming a firm foundation. Even after all this time in life, I find myself on shaky ground once in a while when it comes to self-confidence. That’s especially true when it comes to my art.
You will not often hear me refer to my photography as art. You will not often hear me refer to myself as an artist. Or as a photographer, for that matter.
Yesterday I was asked if I was in the same career track as my husband and I responded with, “Oh no. I just stay at home.” I was shocked at myself. At my response. (My brain kept flashing “what? what? what???”) I haven’t responded that way in a long time. Thank goodness reason prevailed in the form of others (men and women) who “just stay at home.” I was promptly and gently and lovingly reminded not to say “just stay at home,” and I woke up. I don’t just stay at home. I do a bazillion things every day, and those bazillion things make life easier for at least one other person so that I can “just stay at home” and do, well, what I do. (For those new here, I used to work outside of the home. Now I work at home.)
Time and distance have made it obvious to me that I’m not quite over what I thought I was over. I could sit here and thrash through it all or I could tell you the simplest truth of all: I am not always at my best.
Really. I am not always at my best. I get up in the morning and my hair is a mess, my teeth need to be brushed, and I’m pretty sure that the restless (coughing, sneezing, etc.) nights of late are not reflecting well. It would be cool if I could always show the world the bright, the shining, the GLOWING, the Epitome of Robin.
Follow your inner moonlight; don’t hide the madness.
~ Allen Ginsberg
I think that GLOWING version of Robin appears on rare occasions. That’s cool. But for the most part, I’m not always at my best. Instead, I’m just me. Hair out of place, eyes sleepy and droopy when I have a cold, and funny shoes or socks on my feet when I bother to cover my feet at all. I am willing to put my name on all of it. The good, the bad, the ugly.
My art, my photography, my words, my blog, my life, are about living, about life as I see it. These things — my art, my photography, my words, my blog, my life — are not about the rules that govern photographers and artists, they are not about what the professionals say you should do.
If that’s your life, if the rules matter to you, if the advice from the professionals are what keep you going, that’s cool. Just be happy in whatever you do.
I think if you are happy in what you do, chances are pretty good that it doesn’t matter what others say or do. I’m also sure there are folks who will disagree with me. That’s okay. I don’t expect agreement from everyone. I don’t even expect to be liked by everyone. That’s life. And that’s okay. It keeps things interesting.
In other news: Local squirrel commits suicide
We had a power outage this morning. It lasted a few hours. Turns out a squirrel just up the road from us chewed through a wire, killing himself and turning off the power for quite a few of us on this road.
M the Younger along with Bo the Dog came for a visit today. This visit helped to truly signal the end of summer here at Breezy Acres.
M the Elder and M the Younger moved the swim platform off to its winter storage area. It will no longer be a feature in the daily views of the pond (unless I happen to take a photo near the back corner where it’s stored). You’ll have to wait until next summer to see it again.
Well, I guess that is more than enough from me today. Thank you for visiting us here in the Bogs. I hope your Sunday has been an enjoyable one. We had some marvelous weather today. Sunny with cloudy spells, and a nice briskness in the air. Tomorrow will be a little warmer, but still below 70 for a high. I love this kind of weather. 🙂