Learning process

(Cleveland Botanical Garden)

My goal for today is to sit down and learn something new.  The something new I want to learn involves my website which a good friend has kindly redesigned for me.  The redesign was done last year but has not been implemented yet because I need to learn how it works so I can update it (all on my own) as needed/wanted.  After my mother’s death I couldn’t get my brain to function well enough to follow the well-written instructions I was given.

Depression and sadness are funny things.  Not funny ha-ha, of course.  Funny weird.  It’s hard to know you’re depressed or terribly sad while you are right in the midst of it.  Over the past few weeks I’ve begun to feel ready for something new, to jump in and learn.  That is when I realized the sadness that is part of the grieving process was finally lifting.  I still get sad but it isn’t a constant in my life anymore.

I am excited about it.  I have been planning and thinking about setting some goals for myself.  Those are all good signs, but they need some action behind them so I’d better get to it.

I’ll let you know how it all works out.


9 Comments on “Learning process”

  1. anhinga says:

    So glad to hear you are feeling the future again. I know how time can stop.

  2. Anna says:

    These are such beautiful photos… so refreshing. And I just love the soft Orton bridge photo. Yes, I know what you mean about depression and sadness as well when life changes suddenly with the loss of a dear one. May your plans and goals become a joy for you and better than you hoped for. 🙂

  3. CG says:

    Isn’t death a strange event? Following the (way too many) times it has touched my own life—mom, dad, friends—I spent days wondering how the rest of the world could possibly continue to roll along as if nothing had happened. In *my* world, absolutely everything was forever different. It does take awhile, and it almost seems strange when it does, but life does shift from that shocky state of physical and emotional immobilization to something new, something different … not the same, no — but hopeful in a completely unexpected mode.

    As long as you’re in the market for learning something new, check out spinning and/or weaving. Both bugs have bitten me this past year, and each in its own way is amazingly soothing as well as exciting.

    Whatever way you go, hope it is challenging and exciting and delightful!

    • Robin says:

      CG: Thank you for the good wishes. 🙂 I’ve been giving some thought to spinning and weaving after reading about it on your blog.

      Death is indeed a strange event. Your take on it reminded me of a tornado experience I had. I was at work in a large, open office with windows all around. It was storming and while doing some filing near the windows I noticed that it was black as night outside. I moved away from the windows towards the center of the office just before the windows imploded. Glass everywhere, heavy filing cabinets knocked over, papers flying. We were moved to the basement after the event (I worked for the federal government — after the event is typical).

      Since the power was out and things were a mess they sent us all home. Outside of the building large trees were scattered in the streets as if some giant came along and ripped them all up. There was glass everywhere. But the sky was clear and blue, the air was fresh like it is just after it rains, and the contradiction was surreal. I called my husband before heading home to let him know I was okay and he had no idea what I was talking about. I took the train home and when I came up to the outside world, I realized why he had no idea. It didn’t look as if it had even rained at home. Again it felt surreal, to go from an area that looked a little like a war zone to home where nothing at all had happened.

  4. Joanne says:

    Robin, your brain will function again, you will begin to “feel” again (as you are finding out for yourself already) and life will go on, differently than before, and at some stage you will suddenly realise how your memories have become “bitter-sweet”. Remember the good times and don’t be sad; your Mum wants you to be happy. Time heals.

    Again, such a glorious post, so full of hope and stunning photos…I clicked on your “my website” link and oh, my goodness! I will be back to savour the beauty of your photos later on!

    Right now, I’m off to do some gardening…

    • Robin says:

      Thank you, Joanne. 🙂

      Time has helped and healed, that’s for sure. It’s the “firsts” that seem to cause the sadness (the first Christmas, the first time her birthday rolled around, etc.), although even within the sadness I’ve found ways to celebrate Mom.

  5. Kala says:

    I know about depression and sadness a bit myself. I lost my job a year & a half ago after 13 years of dedication to my career. My former employer had no loyalty whatsoever to me. It took me 15 months to finally start to pull myself together again. Great to read that you’re ready for something new and want to learn again. I’ll keep checking in on your progress.

    • Robin says:

      I’m sorry you had to go through all of that, Kala. Unfortunately, I don’t many employers have the kind of loyalty they used to have. I hope everything is working out for you now. 🙂


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